• Image 1 NITIE
    The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step...

What If...

What If

The Sky was green and leaves were blue,
And all the things that I imagined were true.

I was not just another ordinary guy,
And there was more to a conversation than a simple ‘hi’.

What If

Gurgaon was another home away from the picturesque landscape of doon,
And the city had more to offer than lots of confusion and an aura of gloom.

The people were sane enough, the weather was more tolerable & everything was not in a fix,
And House no. 20 in gurgaon was somewhat similar, if not exactly like doon’s House no. 166.

What If

Life was a 24*7 masti, with not so hectic office and an all-out weekend fun,
And all this was an exception to the famous saying: ‘Its easier said than done’!

Everyone was not in a tearing hurry reminiscent to the hustle & bustle of 20-20 cricket,
And one had more time to stop, gaze and then enjoy life, much like the slow rumble of 5-day cricket.

What If

I knew the ‘reason’ behind my mortal existence on planet Earth & what exactly I was required to do?
My goals were a lot clearer, my dreams were less hazy and I stuck to my plans like the binding glue.

November 18 was not the most important date of the year 2007 for me,
And I had the courage to lock all my CATastrophic books in a room and throw away the damned key.

What If

The sole motive of my every endeavor in life was not only about: ‘I, Me & Myself’,
& I could contribute to my fellow beings, my nation and the whole world, unperturbed by the fate of thyself.

I was not just another brick in the wall,
& stood up, took guard and lead India, whenever there was a call.

What If

The Sky was green and leaves were blue,
And all the things that I imagined were true.

The “poetic me” was not an outright loser,
And my dreams & reality were not far away, but distinctly closer!

Of Rules, Regulations & Discipline…


He has a cellphone. But you can’t call him. His sleeping hours are in the range 0-5 hours a day. Not one minute more. He has to wake up at 4am daily, throughout his stay. But he is not sure when he would sleep at night. He lives in dehradun, but knows only one place here: Indian Military Academy (IMA). He is a cousin of mine & there are many like him!

There is only one day when you can hope to meet him: Sunday. So I had the distinct pleasure to catch up with my dear cousin during the last two Sundays (being in doon luckily)! And what followed was a riveting account of ‘Living life on the edge 24*7’…

If you thought: ‘Rules are made to be broken, regulations are only on paper & disciplined behaviour is out of fashion’. Think again!
Because when you enter into the hallowed portals of IMA, Dehradun reality bites!

Its when the very definition of ‘difficult’ & its horrid synonyms changes! I have been through quite a few ‘tough’ situations during my life. But nothing can beat the rigorous schedule of a normal day at the academy. A brief snapshot:

0400 hrs: The alarm clock rings, but there is no option of snooze. You have to wake up now. You have to complete the morning ablutions, bath, dress-up and get ready in exactly half an hour.

0430 hrs: The uniform check is done. A proper dress up means: Only three buttons of your shirt should be visible, the rest should be inside your trousers. The tie should be perfectly aligned with the shirt & the trousers. The shoes should be well polished at all times. And the whole uniform should be neatly pressed. If you fail to comply by even one of them, then its punishment time.

0500 hrs: The PT starts which goes on &on with different exercises, followed by a yoga session, then running 10 km everyday on the field. And all this for 180 minutes!!!

0800 hrs: Breakfast time. The basic funda is to eat as much as possible. Because you are not sure whether or not you would get a chance to eat again during the whole day!

0900-1300 hrs: Theory classes in state of the art classrooms. No physical activity is involved here. And if you are lucky that any teacher is absent, then there is some rest, much to everyone’s relief.

1300-1430 hrs: The Drill test. The toughest of them all. It involves completing tasks of the gravest kind in minimum possible time. Usually, it takes more time than the allotted period. And once it is over, most of the people are totally exhausted & near a state of unconsciousness.

1430-1530 hrs: If you are lucky enough to survive past the drill test in time, then you can have lunch but only at your seniors mercy. Well there are three types of students in the academy. The first term’s are called ekkis, the second term as dukkis & the third term as teekis! One of the ‘teekis’ is your overstudy. He is responsible for all your actions & the way you behave in the academy. In return, you will have to complete all his tasks. From bringing items from shops, to searching for his bike and cleaning his room also. So you can eat only if the teekis allow you to do so.

1530-1630 hrs: Sports time! The most enjoyable time of the day. Here you can play all the games of your interest and based on the competitions ahead. Excelling in sports is considered to be of special significance in military & all the senior personnel in the academy are distinguished sportspersons! So even sports is a serious business here…

1700-2000 hrs: After a half an hour tea break (again only if you don’t have to complete any punishments or the order of teekis), this is Study time! Non-stop for three hours at a stretch…

2000-2100 hrs: Dinner break! Time to get some food in after a long day out :-)

2100-…… hrs: And now begins the dreaded part: The night time :-(

Because now you return back to your respective rooms and the dukkis & teekis are waiting for you there! No its not ragging… Infact, it is discipline being taught to the juniors by there kind seniors… You have to do everything: somethings which are uncensored to be written here and others which are physically draining, to say the least!

Hmmm… anybody reading this would have been terrified by now!

But not everything is so menacing... Their is the other side too!


Starting on a humorous note:
A conversation between a teeki and my cousin (ekki)…
Teeki: Hey you dumb ass come here!!!
Ekki: Yeeeeeeeesssss siiiiiiiir….
Teeki: What happened to you?
Ekki: Noooooo siiiiiiiiiir…….
Teeki: What yes and no? Bring fruits for me from the market you doper!!!
Ekki: Okkkkkkk sirrrrr….. Whiiiich onesssss?
Teeki: Some bananas, apples, mangoes etc.
Ekki: How maaaaaaaanyyyy……………….. Siiiiiiiiiir!!!
Teeki (now in a rage): Jitne milein! Now go. Fast!!!!
Ekki (floating like a drunkyard): Okkkkkkkkk….
(Slips and falls down!!!!!)
Teeki: Ok get up! Tell mishra to do all this. You go doper!!!

& so he manages to esacpe… With a drama act!
So its not only the physical stuff but your personality which develops on all fronts!

And once your over with the first term, life becomes more & more smooth…
As they say: First termer is an ‘orderly’. Second termer is the ‘master’. And the third termer is the ‘king’!
A movie is also screened every Saturday evening in the IMA’s world class auditorium known as “Khetrepal”! Another welcome change for the students!

And the icing on the cake is the famous POP. That is the “passing out parade”…
A once in a life-time experience…

So as this rather intriguing conversation came to a sudden end with a voice from behind. It was my cousin’s overstudy calling him from behind!
My cousin: Hello sir! How are you? Meet my elder brother. He is from dehradun only.
Overstudy: It’s a pleasure to meet you. (Then pointing to my cousin) Have you completed that…….
(But before he could finish)
My cousin: Oh brother I think you are getting a bit late now. Lets go. See you soon sir…

So as I get a real time experience of my cousin’s trickery at display…
I moved out of IMA with mixed emotions!
Life may be really tough here… but then at the end of the day: Its worth the pain!

There He was standing waving me “good-bye” and assuring me that he would call me from my cellphone again whenever he is allowed to meet people from dehradun! The dehradun that exists outside Indian Military Academy!






Chak De! India: A rare masterpiece!


They say: “First impression is the last impression”…
But not always…
For if that had been the case, this post would not have been possible!

While watching Ocean’s 13 in gurgaon, I stumbled upon the trailer of Chak De! India and almost instantly made up my mind: I can live happily without bearing this stuff for sure!
Well first there was Hockey ( I am a sports lover, but never have been a die-hard ‘our national game’ fan), then it consisted of a terrible (yes that was the first word that hit my neurons) looking song: ‘Ek hockey doonge chak ke’, casting few not-so-beautiful girls ( now that does matter to some extent) and finally there was SRK again!!! Not that I hate him (Infact I think he is one of the best actors around), but he simply didn’t fit there.
So I made sure that this pathetic 2 minute-trailer immediately evaporated from my senses…

Then the last nail in the coffin: The movie was not receiving very healthy publicity owing to its (s)hocking origin! Moreover, I had still not completely recovered from my last bollywood movie hangover of ‘Jhoom Barabar Jhoom’. It was a third-degree torture to say the least. Conveniently, the worst movie of the year by a long margin for me!!!

So the odds were heavily stacked against me watching ‘what I previously thought’ would be another bollywood disaster…

But then, that’s what this movie has achieved so beautifully throughout: Winning against all Odds!

The way it tackles different issues, brings them to the forefront and then blends them all into ONE, makes it a rare masterpiece.

If there is caste discrimination in the form of coach ‘Kabir Khan’, then there is gender biasing in the form of ‘women’s hockey’. If on one hand, its about the glory of nationalism & patriotism. Then on the other hand, it also symbolizes the triumph of ‘Girls Interrupted’ with determination & team spirit!

From the harsh ground realities & corruption in the sports authorities to the complete neglect of hockey in general & women’s hockey in particular in India. From the media- villain: ‘gadaar’ Kabir Khan who sold national pride to Pakistan in a World Cup Final to the media-hero: ‘desh ki shaan’ Kabir Khan who made the whole country proud by leading India to the World Cup crown.

Chak De! is about how a bunch of 16 girls from all over the country play as a TEAM. Something that is easily said than done. How they prioritize their game: First, the country. Second, the other players in the team. And lastly, in SRK’s words: ‘agar thodi bahut jaan bach jaati hai to’ for urself! How they grow as individuals: from being state players to being a part of team I N D I A…

The rift between the seniors & juniors and subsequently between the ‘sweet sixteen’ on one side and the coach on the other side and how matters get sorted out! The feeling of being so close but still so far in the men’s hockey match & then finally making it to down under. Then the crucification by the mighty Aussies in the opening match to the rejuvenation: rising from the ashes like a Phoenix to beat the kangaroos at their own game!

Well I can go on & on & on…

That’s because rarely a movie depicts various seemingly unique problems & then interconnects them with utmost ease and most importantly shows the way ahead: The solution. And Chak De! manages to do this without being very serious & boring. It remains a complete entertainer for the masses (read SRK fans) & also puts the message across very firmly indeed with a touch of sarcasm, here & there (the continual cold war with cricket). In a nutshell: A winner all along.

So as I moved out from the theatre, having watched the movie for the second time in one week after its release (the only other Hindi movie which got this privilege before was: Rang De Basanti), a few thoughts played hockey in my mind:

Would this turn out to be the best bollywood flick of the year? Maybe…
Any chances of being nominated for Oscar from India? Not sure…
& then winning it??? NO!

And then a smile broadened my face:
Leave all that, how about completing a hat-trick of Chak De!??? DEFINITELY…

Believe me: Its worth a watch anytime!

Hence, Proved: “First impression is not always the right one… Beware”!!!

P.S. To all those kind people who bear to go through this: Where would you rate this movie among your all-time favourites?
And to all those who have still not seen it: Hurry up & watch it soon! (And then return here again to answer my question.) Thanks :-)

10


No, its not inspired from the so called numerical movies: 300 & 7 etc.
Infact, ‘10’ is the product of a business analyst at work. Where ‘work’ refers to a curious analysis of the unique species in a professional environment. As I complete a half-century of eventful days with this breed of Profo-sapiens, I have suddenly become a firm believer of the saying: “Man is a social animal”! For every single individual here can be categorized into one of these 10, courtesy- animal kingdom…

The COW: “Yes sir, Ok sir, Thank you sir” This species is Innocence personified!
You will see him/her sitting at the desk, working day in & day out, to meet the required deadline. Never asking a question, never hurting anyone. A shy & reserved character only concerned with WORK!

The ASS: “ Oh I dint knew this was my work, yes I will do that now” They are the real assholes in office. They don’t understand what is required of them & even when they finish there own work, they are usually busy with their pal’s work! Very easily befooled & taken advantage of their feelings. They usually crib about tons of workload, when mostly it is none of their business.


The PARROT: “ I wholeheartedly agree with my friend, that this would be the best course of action”. Zero on ideas, creativity and knowledge. They still tend to survive & flourish more than 1 & 2 because they never contradict anyone. By taking other’s ideas & implementing them as their own, they move upwards!


The RABBIT: “Couple of days!!! Ha… this project would be over in hours…” They are infinitely inspired by the movie: ‘The Fast & the Furious’! Always in a hurry to finish everything & stay one step ahead. But sometimes they crash due to rash driving. Overconfident and unreliable.


THE TORTOISE: “Slow and Study wins the race” This is not a universal truth, but still holds true most of the times. This breed takes its own time but unfailingly delivers the goods. Mr. Dependable in office. But they are not recommended when the need of the hour is: Quick thinking & decision-making.


THE ELEPHANT: “Behind the scenes: Chhupa Rustam” The people who drive the organization forward, albeit working backwards! The ‘heart & soul’ of the company. Calm, composed & proactive: their hallmark. But most importantly, they have a ‘mast chaal’… Very positive!


THE PEACOCK: “The Bold and the Beautiful” Men love them, Women loathe them. Yes you guessed it right: the Eye-candies in office! Their progress is directly proportional to their looks & friendliness ;-) They don’t possess brains but does that matter??? Mostly there is scarcity of these species but EVS is lucky :-)


THE CROCODILE: “Warning: Stay away from them!!!” They rise, when others fall. These are the solemn practitioners of every unethical activity in the corporate world. The Cow, the Ass and sometimes even the tortoise are their miserable victims. So who handles them & takes proper care of these scavengers? Read on…


THE LEOPARD: “The Commander: Fast,Efficient,Dynamic,Intelligent” When the going gets tough, the tough gets going! They are the ones who steer the ship to safety even when the tortoise & the elephants fail. They move exponentially upwards everywhere, not because they are clever and sharp! But much more than that, a 10 0ut of 10 on every scale. They are simply the best and Yes, they are the ones who keep the crocodiles at bay…


THE LION: “The Master, the King of the Ring: Numero Uno” The Leader who commands the group… He/She motivates the Cow, gives self-respect to the Ass, keeps an eye on the Parrot, optimizes the Rabbit, encourages the Tortoise, salutes the Elephant, hails the Peacock, restricts the Crocodile and guides the Leopard…
In a nutshell: The Fountainhead…

Hmmm…
So, now even you believe: “Man is a social animal”!!!

The POTTERmania…


Its Friday, the 13th ( October 13, 1307): When officers of King Philip IV of France carried out mass arrests in a well-coordinated dawn raid that left several thousand Templars in chains, charged with crimes that were never proven. Hence from time immemorial, Friday, the 13th has been perceived as a day of special misfortune.

Its again Friday, the 13th ( July 13, 2007): When the witchcraft and wizards of Hogwarts school will take over the whole world, yet again. The Boy-Who-Lived ‘Harry Potter’ , the Miss-Know-It-All ‘Hermione Granger’ & the red-headed, adorably awkward ‘Ron Weasley’ would, for the umpteenth time, fight against Malfoy and other evil forces of Lord Voldemort/Tom Riddle. So as “Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix” releases worldwide on Friday, the 13th, the POTTERmania is all set to rock us again…

And this is just the start of things to come, because just after the fifth flick in this hugely popular series is cinematically acclaimed, only days afterwards, i.e, on July 21, J K Rowling’s last book hits every remote bookstore possible all over the world. The Potterati is indeed buzzing!!!

So while you are sleeping on July 21, 2007 at 6 am (IST), a whole generation of Potter fans: boys & girls, young & old, rich & poor would be queuing up with bated breath to receive that one precious copy of ‘The Book’, named, “The Deathly Hallows”…

The penultimate book: “The Half-Blood Prince” sold an unbelievable 1,60,000 copies in India alone. This one is expected to go one step ahead, the prediction stands at a whooping 2,50,000 copies!!! & one thought that Indians don’t like reading a lot???

Infact, the ‘Harry effect’ is E V E R Y W H E R E…

You name it and Potter would be there. Be it the cyberspace or online gaming or cartoon strips or television shows or as you can see blogs too, the list is endless. The chances are that until and unless you live in a remote forest of Africa, the POTTERmania would strike you sooner than later, whether you like it or not. The choice remarkably is not yours when the case in study is Harry Potter & his world or a world of hundreds of thousands of Potter fans may I say now…

Its hard to imagine life post Potter-era??? What after its all over, never to return again???

The thought is just too horrible to contemplate, even more so than Lord Voldemort and his evil forces, so I would leave it for some other day… And rightly so, because today Friday, the 13th is a day to celebrate POTTERmania and nothing else.

So as we all Harry fans gear up, ready to get Potterized again, I leave you with this humorous conversation that I read in TOI (incidentally taken from a blogger in pune),

Welcome to Ekta Kapoor’s version of Harry to reproduce the Potter tale in K-serial mode.

Voldy (Lord Voldemort) goes to Gorric Hollow to meet Harry’s parents,

James (Harry’s father): “Voldy tum, bad-tameez! Itne bade jaadugar ho aur doorknob turn karna nahi aata!”
PHAAT (a slap)!
Voldy: “James, main tumse nahin tumhari biwi se milne aaya hoon. Aaj hum faisla karenge ki Harry kiska Puttar hai!”

Now this is what i meant by being Potterized…

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